Preserve your sanity

By Ralph Jenner

If you’re low on funds and or time, this is the recipe for you. It’s also piss easy so chances are you won’t muck it up. Here’s the scene… Your mates are coming over to your newly purchased first home, we all know the market’s screwed, they’re driving from Ponsonby, way out to see your little slice of the far west. You calmly sit by the barbie proud as punch and ready to impress. Your angus beef patties are done, you got the good brioche buns from Farro, the gas bottle’s full and the beers are in the fridge. But wait… YOU FORGOT THE GHERKINS, HOW COULD YOU, NOBODY WANTS A BURGER WITHOUT PICKLES, YOU IDIOT, YOU’RE GOING TO BE THE LAUGHING STOCK OF ALL YOUR M8’S…

Wait!! Don’t call them to cancel yet, Stone Soup’s here to help. This recipe will save your ass.

PreserveYourSanity

All you need is:

1 cucumber weighing around 350g.
2 Tablespoons plus 1 teaspoon sugar.
1 Tablespoon David’s Kosher salt*
A generous glug of white or apple cider vinegar.

That’s it. I know right?! How can that possibly make you look cool??
Just trust. We’re quickly going to go through the method kay.

Chop em up, whack all them ingredients into a plastic container, shake the life out of it to coat all your little cucumber slices. Leave them in the fridge for at least an hour and as long as two weeks.  Done. You can thank me later…

*any flakey salt is sweet as too.